Every day for the last two weeks, I would go to the mailbox waiting for two things to appear. Well the first appeared last week, my medical records from the twins birth. Reading over them was heartbreaking. It explained how they died, especially our little girl. I wanted to understand everything that happened because I was not in my right mind during their birth.
Today, the second item appeared their birth certificates. Our little girl received a live birth certificate (she was born alive and passed away shortly after birth) and our little boy received a stillbirth certificate (he died during birth). I know those of you who have not suffered a loss, probably think I am crazy for getting them. I can't explain how important it was to receive them, but to say it is a type of validation. It is almost like you want to show people see "I do have two children, they just aren't with us anymore."
Is there anything you would go to the mailbox each day and look for during your life?
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
The Mailbox
Posted by Jill at 2:09 PM
4 comments:
(((Jill)))
What a bittersweet thing to be waiting for. I remember waiting every day for the mail to deliver Rowan's hospital photos, and then sitting there afraid to open them.
It is a validation to have their birth certificates, your babies deserve the recognition. I am really glad they have arrived.
Sending love,
Corinne
Hi Jill~
I am so glad that you got them! After Alex was born the nurses at the hospital told me that the only document that I would receive was his death certificate. I was crushed to say the least, because I wanted validation that he was born. So I was elated to say the least when I found out a month later that I could get a stillbirth certificate! My son's stillbirth certificate is the most cherished document that I have. It was so important to my husband and me that we have it. It PROVES that he did EXIST and that I gave birth to him. I had it framed along with his picture and the poem that was read at his memorial. It was hanging over his crib the first year but I have since moved it to my room.
It's just a reminder that they were here and they will never be forgotten! I'm waiting for Naturalizer shoes! Speaking of, I've got a $10 off code if you are interested. It's good until the end of the month. Let me know. Anyway, I love going to check mail. It's one of my highlights of the day. Once we move to Japan though, it will only be once a month so it will really be a highlight.
I don't wait for anything.
I am sorry your babies aren't with you. I really am. If I ever run into you I will know you are a mom. I am sad for you and think you of you often.
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