Most of you got an e-mail about this segment that aired on Channel 7 news in the Denver area about this wonderful lady named Corinne O’Flynn, but in case you didn’t here is her story. After we lost the twins, a perinatal loss counselor named Annette visited us. What a special lady, who helped set us up with other counselors and groups once we left the hospital. We also had some sessions with her after we left the hospital. We plan on taking all the donations to her the last week of January. I never was one much for counseling, but it has been very helpful for both Justin and I. You know 63% of people get divorced after a loss of a child (We were told this so many times, it got to be our joke—I told Justin he is not getting rid of me that easy. :) She led us to two groups one called the MISS Foundation and one called Assistance with Grief. Both amazing groups!!
Well Corinne O’Flynn is the facilitator for the MISS group (http://www.missfoundation.org/) we attend in Parker. She also has a foundation called the Rowan Tree Foundation, after her daughter. (http://www.rowantreefoundation.org/) I could go on and on about the wonderful work she does, but just read her website plus it might help some of you understand what Justin and I going through too. You can watch the segment that aired on the news on her site Rowan Tree.
Also read the essay “Weeding the Garden” on the front page by Kristi Sagrillo. The essay is excellent, and so true. She is actually a co-facilitator of the Assistance with Grief group and is in the Channel 7 video. (This group meets for 6 weeks for three hours with only 5 couples all who have experienced a loss of a child. Very intense and draining—so don’t call on Thursday nights!) You never want to be a member of these groups, but the wonderful people in them give you hope that someday life can be okay again, never the same, but okay. We both hope to find that in 2008.
I also want to thank P-dot and Tammy Faye for coming up from Phoenix and spending some time with me last week. It helped so much!! My two "L" girls, right Tammy Faye?
Monday, January 14, 2008
Good people, Bad times.
Posted by Jill at 4:04 PM
3 comments:
How are you doing? I am still sad for you. I did not ever carry as long as you did but I have lost a total of five pregnancies. Michael was my fourth pregnancy and I have had 2 miscarriages since then. My sister in law had a still born though and I know that she will always miss him. Every year she has a day of rememberance. Last year it was just a bbq in the backyard with her family and friends. Don't worry when people tell you that you will have another child or that they know what you are feeling. I know it gets so old to hear and for me it always made me angry. Same for my SIL too. I know a handful of people who have lost their children. I am glad that you have your husband and you both seem to be dealing with your grief very well. I know I don't know you, but if you are a friend of Christy's that is good enough for me. Good luck. Maybe next year you will have a Christmas and you will get a robot that vaccums for you. That might make you smile a little.
Hanging in there, that is about it. Life seems to be moving in slow motion in a fog for me. We also plan to have a day of rememberance each year. Oh yes, it does make me angry the insenstive comments people make. People think you should just move on, which beyond pisses me off. I wish people could understand, but unless you have lost a child I don't think that is possible. So I tell them, think about giving birth and holding your babies at the hospital, then going home with nothing -- that usually shuts them up. Anyway, thanks for the message. I hope we both get the chance to have kids again someday.
Hi Jill. Corinne just sent me the link to your blog. I think it is wonderful that you are blogging about your experience. And I wanted to thank you for your kind words about the essay and how touched I was. I hope that you find some comfort in it.
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